Thursday, August 4, 2011

Ema Rindu Shazni :'(

[1:38:10] adib.nasir: ema.

[1:39:11] Emalina Abd Aziz: Ha adib? Kenapa :)

[1:39:57] adib.nasir: aku trbukak blog kau tadi..dan ternampak gmba arwah..seriously aku rindu dia dowh.. :'(

[1:40:33] Emalina Abd Aziz: Gambar arwah? Tak silap aku aku dah delete gambar arwah. Kau biar betul?

[1:41:20] adib.nasir: aku bace post kau yg lama2 tu..dan ada satu gmba dia..

[1:42:35] Emalina Abd Aziz: Oh, tu semua post lama. Masa aku tengah betul betul down gila. Hm, kau okay tak ni? Aku tahu kau lagi rindu arwah kan? sbb kau lbih lama berkawan and kenal dia. Aku ni siapa je lah kan. Baru berapa tahun je.

[1:43:24] adib.nasir: hey..jgn la ckp mcm tu..kita sama2 rindu dia..tk sangka skjap jeh dia dh pergi tinggalkn kita semua..

[1:43:59] adib.nasir: dulu byk perkara yg aku buat dgn dia..tk kesah la baik atau jahat,tapi semuanya bermakna pada aku dan dia..

[1:46:34] Emalina Abd Aziz: Tak sgke kan? Aku lagi tak sgka dia pergi tggalkan aku sorang mcm ni. Kau bygkan org yg everyday text kau, everyday call kau tibe2 hilang mcmtu je? Tapi takpe lah. Aku cuma terima takdir Allah. Ada yg lebih sygkan dia iaitu Allah. Adib, arwah baik kan? Aku terlalu rindukan dia. Aku mcm tak sgke. Ish, kau ni buat aku sedih balik. Aku susah dah nak menangis sekarang. Maybe sbb dulu aku dah puas menangis. Hm, aku harap kau sabar k adib?

[1:50:47] adib.nasir: ok ema..sorry buat kau sedih..aku tk sengaja..aku cuma nk luahkn apa yg aku rasa skarang..aku tk tahu dkt sape aku nk luahkn lagi kcuali kau..plus2 aku rindu korang semua tahu tk..seriously aku jeles tgk gmba korang kt JJ tu..tapi jeles yg baik..bukan dengki..hehe..dulu kalau nk kluar ramai2,msti semua ada..now,ada yg masih ada dan ada yg tkde..bila lagi la kita semua dpt mc tu kn??maybe kau lebih muda drpd kitaorng ema,tapi kau dapat memahami kakak2 dan abng2 kau yg kadang2 tk btol ni..kau mmng bagus la ema :')

[1:57:21] Emalina Abd Aziz: Haha adib sorry lambat k. Aku tenga search lagu tadi. Haha apa lah yg bagusnya weh. Takde lah. Aku bersyukur arwah sempat kenal kan aku dengan korang semua all my seniors. Kalau tak, aku sorang sorang aku rasa boleh jadi gila tau tak adib. Hm, aku tahu kau rindu arwah, semua rindu arwah kan? Adib, arwah still ingat kita lagi ke tak eh agak agak? hm aku rindu dia lah. Everyday aku solat berdoa utk dia. Doa aku tak lengkap kalau tak sebut nama dia.


A minute ago, I feel so down, thinking about you and my horrible life. It seems that those pictures what I've chat with Adib last night are holding me back, yet I couldn’t bear to delete them. We haven't missed for even a single day to meet. I know we always argued lately and the night you’re gone and really really gone. It’s really hard to believe, and it took me alot to carry myself here, trying very very hard to smile. My blog really allows me to blog and post out anything about you. I hate that ache in my heart. I miss you way too much. All I know now, my life is meaningless without you. All things I do now are all about nothing. I don't live my life properly. I don't treat people like I used to. I'm not like the old me. I know. I'm sorry but to be honest, I'm lucky to have Syaza and Amiruddin here. Never forgotten all your friends. I'm so lucky I got chance to know your friends before you left me. If not, To be honest, I feel like dying inside. I really need you.

I miss the way you kiss and tell me you loved me. I just wish I could save you on the 21th of Oct.I miss you so much. Please don't forget me. I hope my prayers are with you sayang. I miss him way too much. SERIOUSLY. I can't even express how much does he mean to me, he means the world to me. But now, since he's not here anymore, I just don't know how to appreciate what's happening in my life. I don't know how to love anyone with all of my heart. I don't know how to live my life like I used to. Maybe it's all because I used to let him handle my life and I never been independent when I was so happy. It's all my fault, it's all my fault. It's all my fault! I'm tired giving fake smile tired tired tired tired. Allah is trying to test me in any way. I got so much challenges to face. I still got a very long journey to go through, InsyaAllah. I want to be strong :'( I don't know why I think too much about arwah these days. I seriously need to get rid of it. I miss him so much, I don't know how to express how much I miss My arwah Shazni. I hope he's doing okay down there. I hope he's in the best peacefully place. Please come to my dreams, every single night. That's the best I want from you, please come to me. I need to see your face, I need to hear your voice. Again, and all over again. Pleaseeeeeeee :'( I'm tired giving a FAKE SMILE to people around me :'(

Shazni, I just need you back. I want celebrate this holy Ramadhan with you. Sorry, I know I sound bad but I seriously need you way to much. Only Allah know what I feel inside. I laughed, I smiled, yes. But to be honest, they didn't come sincerely from my heart. I'm sorry I seriously can't continue this :'(

Sayang, I'll always pray for you no matter what. I love you Shazni ♥

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