Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Beginning

Hai semua, Assalamualaikum. Lama sangat aku tak update blog. Nak kata busy, takde lah busy sangat. Haha entah lah kenapa tah. Sorry for those yg keep waiting to read my blog or any of my development haha ada ke? *keningkening*

First of all, cuti sekolah dh nak habis kan? And sekolah pon dh nak start kan? I bet korang mesti mcm 'Alaaaaa :<' Kan? Haha I know lah cause it same goes to me. Lagi lagi next year I have my superb important exam, I mean SPM. Whooa! Siapa tak takut weh? Confirm busy habis and confirm mama ayah kakak abg semua cakap benda yg sama suruh study study study, confirm punya lah. Huhu tapi takpe lah, ini semua utk my future. Masih panjang lagi kehidupan aku and masih byk benda lagi yg aku taktahu and perlu belajar. Huh kenapa ayat aku mcm poyo? :P

Aku tak sabar nak masuk 2012, liked seriously! Aku betulbetul dah tak sabar sangat sbb.. Um, idk lah. Everyone know how big my challenges and berapa byk dah dugaan datang menimpa dlm tahun ni. Dah terlalu banyak sangat benda yg aku taknak, terjadi dlm tahun ni. But, apa pon what I can say is, I'm glad and I'm so thankful cause benda benda ni lah dah buat aku jadi matang, kuat dan still boleh berdiri sendiri tak kira berapa ramai manusia kat luar sana yg cuba utk jatuhkan aku. Ya Allah, terima kasih atas segalanya. Terima kasih sbb kuatkan semangat hamba-Mu ini untuk terus hidup.

Yet, everyone know next year aku akan jadi budak SPM and semua tahu yg SPM sangat penting for future kan? So, what I can is, aku bersyukur dan tersangat bersyukur yg aku dah single, I mean I have no boyfriend. Aku dah tak terikat dengan sesiapa. Takde siapa lagi akan kecik hati, kecewa, sakit hati and else. Aku pilih utk tak terikat dengan sesiapa buat masa sekarang. Just focus untuk belajar sbb cuma tggl 1 year je utk aku study sampai pandai sampai aku dapat result yg bagus. Dah cukup banyak hati aku terluka dengan perbuatan dorang. Tapi apa pon, aku doakan semua my ex-boyfriends happy dengan life masing-masing and tak lupakan aku or maybe we still can be friend. Especially my latest boyfriend, Um k enough. Pasal aku ckp yg aku taknak terikat dgn sesiapa tu, um I think mesti ada orang orang akan cakap aku poyo or maybe something like 'eleh, kejap je tu, cuba tgk sebulan dua nnti..' Takpe, aku tak kisah. Tapi apa yg aku boleh cakap kat sini jangan lah doa yg bukan bukan utk aku. Support aku. Kalau taknak support pon, atleast diam mulut jangan kurang ajar sibuk nak tahu apa aku buat apa life aku pesuma. Itu pon dh cukup bagi aku. Tolong doakan yg terbaik utk aku, no offense!

2011 end cepat-cepat pls :< Aku nak lupakan semua yg bad and aku nak start dengan 0-0. Aku dh taknak kenal siapa haters aku and aku cuma nak go on dgn life aku and org org penting sekeliling aku. That's all! Aku harap 2012 lebih bermakna and lebih menjadikan aku insan yg lebih kuat utk terus hidup. Aku sayang my family, aku sayang mama ayah. So aku rasa dah tiba masanya aku nak balas jasa dorang dengan bagi dorang keputusan yg cemerlang atleast bagus. Bukan keputusan mcm org tak pegi sekolah :'< Aku takut sgt sgt sbb dalam adik beradik aku, tggal aku sorang je yg still bersekolah, so for sure harapan dorang letak kat bahu aku tggi sangat. Especilly mama, aku rapat dengan mama, mama selalu nasihatkan aku belajar tu betul-betul, keputusan cemerlang pesuma. Dari percakapan dia pon aku tahu yang dia btl btl berharap aku dpt keputusan yg cemerlang. Um, K I try k mama.. Mama, I heart you maa :/ Pls stay with me and keep babbler me. Mama knew about me and crn, mama lah yg selalu bagi advices pesuma. Cuma mama je yg tahu mcmana and berapa banyak aku sayang kat dia. Tiada orang lain, just mama! Till today, kalau aku rindu rindu dia, aku teringat pesan mama. ' Dah, lupakan dia k. Anak mama bukan utk org yg mcmtu. Move on. '

Takpe lah, Allah lebih tahu siapa yg terbaik utk kita. Tuhan tarik orang yg kita sayang sebab Dia nak bagi yang lebih baik untuk kita. So I need to accept qada' and qadar of things. May I'll be okay dengan segala apa burden yg akan datang. As long as my family is with me, I'm okay :)

I hope everyone pray the best for me :)

Catch ya later, Bye.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku :'( You guys have no idea how much I miss both of them. yknow?! BOTH OF THEM!

Muhammad Syahiran Alfian,

I'm deeply missing him, like seriously. The way he smiled at me, the way he talked to me, the way he entertained me in so many ways, I don't think I'll forget those. I think about him too much these days and still got no idea why am I feeling so so and so sad these days. I miss him way too much, only Allah knows how I feel deep inside my heart. I can say that November and December are the worst months that I've live in. Although I know him for a very short period, I don't think he can't be replaced by any other guy cause he changed the whole things in me. But, yes I know I can't say anything about this. I don't know who am I meant to be with, its hurt to accept other guy to be in my life after arwah Shazni. Mmhhmm.. I miss you Ciran.

Muhammad Shazni Samsol,

All I can say is, I need him back!! Indeed! Please tell me how to live without you, sayang? Please! I don't know why I cry too much at nights and I don't easily fall asleep lately. Banyak sangat benda fikir. I can't stop reminding all memories we had together. I really really need you sayang, Really am :'(

Sorry if this statement might hurt those people yang berkaitan. You guys can say whatever pon, but just please know I didn't mean to hurt you guys or anyone. I am too weak right now. Yes I do smile, I do laugh infront of people but inside, only Allah knows :'( I'm not lying! I wish theres anyone out there know how hurt my feelings and how weak I am right now.
I seriously can't continue this. I'm sorry. I don't wanna cry again :(


Friday, December 16, 2011

It's Been Awhile :)

I've been quite dissapointed with my life lately, It has been full of tears. But I believe that those hard assumptions I've been dealing with happen for a reason, InsyaAllah. And Allah knows whats the best for His creatures. Sumpah tak tipu, dugaan datang tk berhenti. Dah tak tahan sangat but I just know myself well and I won't do stupid things that'll just hurt myself. I just won't! May I'll be okay with these hard things..

Ammagadd! I never thought that time would fly this fast. I mean, look at the calender! Zzzz There's only a few weks more than sekolah pon dah start and shit I hate being 17 y/o dengan Spm segala bagai. Mmhhmmm. And what am I doing? Sitting on the chair, eating much foods, watching tv and watching stupid parody videos on Youtube. Goddamn social networks are always the major disturbance. Am I wrong?

2011 is going to an end already. I don't want it to end that fast because I myself don't even know if I'm going to be this strong after this. This beautiful month has been treating me so hard. But I believe that everythings happens for a reason. On the happy side, I thank Allah for presence Mom Dad Kakyong and Kakeca with me. Idk why even I have my bestfriend, but Its hard for me to share everything with her. Sorry to say, she changed a lots! She didnt realise that but I do. I dont even know what the hell is wrong with her but all I can say is she changed a lots and I hate when someone copy all my style! Either fashion or lifestyle. Everything seems same with me :< I'm not going to get angry but just that, pls being yourself okay? Ily, hmmm. Dear my bestfriend, If you read this, pls jangan kecil hati or apa apa. I just wanna things get clear! Oh by the way, Kakyong slept over at my place for two nights! Haha and all I can say is, my other halves are way too good to cheer me up when I'm in a bad situation with some particular stuffs. I love her two bits yknoooooooow?! Then, we have our own plan for next Tuesday yepppiii! *evil. Hehe I babbler too much lah, bukan ada orang baca pon but it's okay :>
Till here,

Ema Aziz ♥

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Please Be Strong, Sweetheart

To my dearest Cindy Utari bt Johan,
Please be strong b. I know you're deeply in love with him. But all you have to do know is, be strong. I know you're too weak to face the fact that you're no longer with him anymore.

I'm considering you as my sister. So dear, I'm always here for you to cry on. You always tell me that you feel weak inside. But I don't want you to feel that way. You're way too strong, I know. Don't cry. Pray what's the best for you in life k dear? Remember, I'm always here, being a shoulder for you to cry on. Don't be hesitate to cry with me. I love you!

If you guys are meant to be together, seriously he'll come back to you and he's yours to keep. Forever. Please, wait for the right time.

I'll always pray for you. Take a good care of yourself, alright x

Is It Great?

Hai and Assalamualaikum people!

I know I rarely post entries these days. I was way too tired of school so I didn't get the chance to go online like I used to plus Ayah selalu bawak laptop. So like yeah, I'm sorry my followers. I'll try to keep my blog updated after this. Jangan lah nangis. Hehe

Um, I'm still trying my hardest and smartest way to catch up things back. I'm now seriously way too busy with homeworks that trying to burn myself! K I lied xP Like seriously, I hate to study, but what can I do. It's all for my damn future -_- This week habiskan masa dgn lots of fun with all my classmates, my boyfriend, Syaza, Cindy and those yang lain.

15 September 2011 I've some event that I need to attended so yeah I went there with Syaza and around 1.00 p.m. Aidil fetch me up with Syaza and Cindy and we decided to go to arwah Shazni's grave so we made it, Yay! Thank you so much Aidil Cindy and Syaza for accompanied me and most thankyou to Aidil for making me so sad and you're so cruel haha but it's okaay lah. Never forgotten, to Syaza and Cindy sbb bacakan Yaasin untuk arwah Shazni. I'm so sad sbb tak dapat bacakan Yaasin but it's okay still got another daaaaaay. I'm so happy at last I can visit him :)
Lepastu kiteorang pergi Pak Li makan byk byk dengar Aidil punya cerita dengar Aidil dgn Cindy bergaduh dengar Aidil buat lawak haha k I'm so happy that day, Thankyou so much guys!
I ate Asam Laksa and it was yummy ;P Kay now aku bengang gila. Abg aku ni time ni lah nak main game digimon lah nenekmon lah eeeeeee! I've a lot more things to share ah please ah don't disturb me by now :'( Hmm k lah catch ya later.

Lots of love,

The Best Among The Rest

I kinda miss those times when I was with arwah Shazni. When I was with Najihah Zaini. When I was with all my new friends named Ravaro. Yes, I know we may be separated now, but I know no matter what, we still love each other :)

Friday, September 9, 2011

Babi Hanjing !

Only this word !

Fuck off and shut the fuck off !

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Salam Syawal && Salam 'Aidilfitri

Hi there!
Most of my friends knew that this year's Aidilfitri is not as great as I had last year. But that's okay, I really had fun with my relatives during the first day of raya. I didn't get too much duit raya and this is so like (N).

Yeahs, most of my uncles and aunties thought that I've been working all this while. But no? Okay? I'm still studying! I'm only sixteen tsk tsk. Just because of your thoughts, my duit raya this year is decreasing huhu. But chill~ I'm okay, lol haha. I don't want duit raya lah hehe. I was just kidding as if I'm sulking but hey I'm not! Sorry I didn't snap any pictures during this day. Actually snap, but buruk so I delete. Nevermind, raya sebulan so still got another day kan xP I don't know what to say more but I'm sooooo happy today and it was great so far. Oh ya, InsyaAllah, I will visit arwah Shazni's grave on third of Syawal with Cindy and Aidil. Maybe, perhaps lah.

Salam Aidilfitri, to all muslimin and muslimat in Malaysia and wherever you are. I wanna take this chance to apologize for what I've done wrong to you in any ways. I know there are a lot of you who are hating me like way bad but I'm really sorry for my wrong doings. Please, help me to change for good. Thanks so much.


Life Is Too Short Actually

Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.

Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.