Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Hello readers,
Seriously I kinda busy with my stuff and else. Omg! I miss blogging like seriously.
Fisrt of all, I kinda sad, sumpah do. I feel so down now. I really can'tstand it alone anymore.
Dissapointed with my own bestfriend is always happened to me /: Okay nevermind lah. I didn't take any serious thingy of that.

Oh and yeah. Anyway, I seriously being all emo at my classroom after the one and only 'becok' girl come to school. Maigad, please go dai ah minah. Why so cruel Ema? Hik.

She : Rumah aku ada aircond. Best sejuk!
Friend : Rumah aku takboleh pasang aircond sbb rumah aku dah ada 3 peti ais.

Wtf? What the hell is going with them?! I seriously can't stand anymore lah weh like I come to school just to hear their fukimaks merepeks story. Okay chill Ema. Actually aku tak join dorang pon okay. Just that tempat dorang memang belakang aku. So apa yang dorang merepek merapu, automatically aku dengar --'

Oh by the way. Haritu pergi tengok movie dengan Amir. 321 Cinta. Okay sumpah macam geli er er er. Tapi dah mamat ni suka sangat kan? Aku pon melayan je ah ketawa kih kih kih. Haha sorry sayang. Never forgotten my dinner with mom and dad last night. It was fun beb! After duduk en, my stomach keep pushing me to said Nasi Ayam Lemon. Maigad, dah lama tak makan. Er I looked so greedy and jakun plus I cilok my mom punya ayam xP Hihi coli coli coli. Sayang mama ah mama cool mama gentle suka bagi green light. Haha. I'm shooo lucky. Kbye! Muah

Till here,

Monday, June 27, 2011

Nothing is as simple as uncolored thing

Ema tak couple dengan Amir. Tapi, Ema happy bila ada dengan Amir, Amirn faham Ema. Amir teman Ema hari hari. Amir dah banyak kali dengar cerita Ema and biar lah benda dah lepas. Ema dah janji dengan diri Ema sendiri, yang Ema taknak couple dengan siapa siapa. Cukuplah, Shazni sorang. Biarlah Shazni jadi lover Ema sampai mati. Ema hidup dalam dunia ni bukan untuk mengejar kesedihan, tapi untuk mengejar kebahagiaan. Ema buat semua benda ni, semua ada maksud. Ema sekarang dah happy dengan Amir, bukan maksudnya Ema dah tak sayangkan Shazni. Ema sayang Shazni lebih daripada semua benda. Family comes first, then Shazni. Amir is next. Ema sayang Amir, Ema nak ada dengan Amir sampai Ema mati. Amir dah janji dengan Ema yang dia nak jaga Ema. Apa yang Ema berani cakap sekarang ni, Ema memang sayang Amir. Tapi kalau Amir nak hidup dengan Ema, datang jumpa Ema bila dua dua dah besar, bila dua dua dah boleh fikir pasal diri sendiri, bila dua dua dah boleh cari duit sendiri, bukan guna duit mak bapak. Sekarang ni, Ema taknak fikir pasal apa apa other than fikir pasal family Ema sendiri and study Ema. Itu yang paling penting dalam hidup Ema sekarang. Ema tahu, ada orang yang tak suka Ema dengan Amir. Semua sibuk cakap sana sini 'Ema dah tak sayang Shazni ke'. Banyak dah benda yang Ema dengar. Banyak dah benda yang Ema dapat daripada orang orang yang tak kenal siapa diri Ema yang sebenarnya. Ema hidup bukan untuk mementingkan kebahagiaan orang lain. Kalau sampai mati Ema jaga hati orang lain, sampai bila Ema nak hidup sedih? Siapa pula yang nak jaga hati Ema? Siapa pula yang nak hidup dengan Ema? Terlalu awal untuk Ema cakap pasal jodoh. Sekolah pun tak habis lagi, tak pernah jejak hidup lepas sekolah. Duit makan pun mak bapak yang tanggung. Ema tak berani nak cakap yang Amir tu jodoh Ema. Tapi, doa Ema takkan lengkap kalau takda nama mama ayah, Shazni and Amir. Ema dah mula doa untuk hidup Ema dengan Amirn. Apa yang Ema rasa sekarang, Ema happy dengan hidup Ema sekarang ni. Ni semua sebab Amir and family. Amir jaga Ema. Dia faham Ema. Ema dah penat hidup untuk menjaga hati orang lain. Ema dah sedar semua benda ni, Ema dah tak boleh jadi bodoh. Ema dah tak boleh hidup just untuk membahagiakan orang lain. Apa yang Ema harapkan sekarang ni, terima lah Ema dengan Amir. Bukan niat busuk or apa apa lah. Ema bukan nak rampas Amir dari ex dia. Ema dah try dulu pujuk dia, tapi Amir cakap dia nak mulakan hidup baru. Ema takboleh paksa. Cuma kadang2, dia hidup dibayangi dengan kenangan lama. It's okay, Ema faham. Bagilah Ema peluang untuk hidup dengan Amir. Bagilah Ema peluang untuk jadi happy. Walaupun untuk sementara, Ema redha. Ema redha dengan apa yang Allah bagi. Ema happy dapat hidup dengan Amir yang boleh jaga Ema, ingatkan Ema untuk semua benda, bawak Ema jalan jalan. Ema bersyukur dapat tahu yang Amir sayang Ema. Tolong lah jangan mengaibkan pasal Ema dengan Amir ni dengan benda lain. Tolong faham perasaan Ema, Ema dah tak sanggup nak baca apa yang orang orang bagi dekat Ema.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Kau ciptakanlah Shazni bin Samsol untukku, Ya Allah.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011


                                     * Sorry, The picture was not too clear.

Him : Adik, dah balik sch belum?
Me : Dah abang. Kenapa?
Him : Tunggu kat rumah tau? Jap lagi abang nak datang.
Me : Ada apa?
Him : Adalah xP
Me : Mengada kan? Okay.
Him : Adik, abang dah nak sampai.
Me : Okay okay. Adik keluar ni.
Him : Adikkkkkkkkk :) Nah rojak utk adik.
Me : Eeee apa susah susah ni abang? Haha Thanks abang. Adik syg abang sgt.

OMG ! I really really miss him. I don't know where is he now. But, I'm missing him like seriously.
I hope hes in a good condition and happy with his life now. I seriously wanna meet him but I don't know whether he still remember me or not. Perhaps I'm still be a part of his life. Perhaps.
I've tried miscall him yesterday morning but Im too sad cause I didn't get any respond from him. Abang, where have you been haa? I miss you effin' much :(
Adik nak rojak buah tu lagi :(


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Girl, Be Strong

Hello friends.
So today, I didn't go to school. I know today is the first day school. But somehow, I didn't get enough strength to wake up for school this morning. I'm having a real huge problem plus I'm not well. I can't take this any longer, I feel like dying! It's been a few months since the last time I had this kind of terrible problem. I'm sick of this headache thingy!

I planned to go to Banting with Syaza because I want cut my hair as my hair now getting long and such a ugly hair. But unfortunately, I've canceled it because I need to accompany my mom so yeah I'll inform to Syaza after she got back from her school. So sad we couldn't make it. I hope we can meet on the other date k sayang? Hehe really really wanna see you.

I don't know why I feel so weak these days. I've tried my best to be strong. But I just don't know why, lately every time I listen to arwah's favorite songs, every time I take a look at our pictures, my tears will automatically fall down. I don't know how to express this feeling I'm having deep inside my heart. I really really miss him too much. I hope I can take this. But I seriously, can't!

Ya Allah! Please forgive me. Please, give me strength to go through my long journey in life perfectly. Ya Allah, my one and only God, please bless Almarhum Mohd Shazni bin Samsol. Please place him with those You love, Ya Allah! :'( 


New Beginning

I woke up early today. I woke up with my head feels so heavy. I tried to sleep again but my eyes refused it. So I get up and take my laptop. Nak mandi pon masih awal. Sojuk lah. Actually before tidur tadi Ema nangis-nangis. I have such a huge problem but I can't tell you guys how's my problem looks like. Let me handle it by myself and I know I can. Okay today is Monday like you know, I don't want go to school because seriously I'm not in mood and I'm sho malas plus I need to accompany my mom tomorrow morning. I don't know what place but as a great good daughter, I just follow her. 

Okay, Ema cuma nak cakap. Ema taknak musuh dengan siapa siapa lagi. So, Fanny, I'm sorry for all the words and I'm forgive you. I hope you can accept my sincere appologise. Hence, I've deleted all the stupid thingy and I don't want to hear about that anymore. Sorry for being all emo to you. I hope this is the last time we argued because of arwah Shazni. Well, Apek's words was so true! 'selagi aku ada sifat dendam, gentle arwah tak tenang and maybe arwah kecewa dgn sikap aku' . That's was so true and I really want to thank to you because remind me about that. Like you know, I'm just too dissapointed and people know how much I love arwah Shazni. I know arwah Shazni love both of us and we should accept the fate and pray the best for him. Perhaps hes in better place now. Okay end story lah malas cerita panjang panjang.


I'm Missing Him

To be honest, I'm seriously going to get jealous seeing those people all around got couples. You're not here anymore, I'm not as comfortable as I seemed to be.

I miss spending time with you. I wish I could turn back time and spend the rest of my life with you! I seriously can't live without you. I hope I can be strong and even stronger to move on. But I know I can't. I'm tired being a weak girl, I'm tired of giving a fake smile. But I think that's the best thing I'm supposed to do.

I don't know how to say this, you're my everything, you're the only person I love the most. When you're no longer here, everything's changed. Everything is not as it used to be. I miss you so much, my beloved boyfriend. I hope you're in a better place and never forget me.

Now, what keeps me going is our voice record in my cell. I won't delete it and I'm probably going to keep them in my memories, memories I can never ever forget. You were the one who always strive to solve my problems and always guide me. You were the one who always there by my side in times of need.

But now when I need you, why you can't be here again :'(
Al- Fatihah for you Shazni bin Samsol.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hip Hip Hooray !

Hello. Aaa Sunday, slow down please. Why so fast haa. I don't want go to sch tomorromw lah like seriously oh. I'll rather being bored at home than need to see all my friends's face. I don't know why I'm acting so evil by saying that but seriously haa I tell you I hate my classmates except Mariam and Fitri. Okay I don't want talk about this lah. This thing seriously make me feel so malas so menyampah.

Anyway, I just wanna share something. Yesterday night was fun I'm hanging out melepak with both my sisters, Kak Eca and Yong. Omg! I really miss Kak Eca so effin' much. Long time we didn't lepak together and share about fashion style right? Yeah I understand that you need to work hard to buy a car. Hihi So then later we can rock our body yeah coooool mannnn. Yesterday we ate roti canai as Yong was hanker to eat that. So I suggest to them to go to Tasbeeh Bistro as the roti canai was too delicious. I bet you guys will say the same thing xP Okay actually we planned to go to Kl that night with Yong's boyfriend but I'm too tired plus I bet my dad will say No. Huu, sorry girls. I cant join you guys last night. Then they send me home around 11.00 p.m. and I wish my dad was sleep already and perhaps, so that I didn't need to answer all his questions. Hihik. Unfortunately guys, I saw my dad was waiting for me at the door and I felt so afraid and I just lost any of words to say so I gave him a big smile. Tehee xP I changed my clothes and layed my body on my sweet bed as I need to reply someone's text. We text as usual and both of us was too bored for tomorrow, I mean today. He asked me to accompany him to watch a Kl Gangstar's movie. I was like lol and not so sure whether I can go or I just give him a big saddest. Haha. Omg! I really want to watch that movie but I'm not sure yet lah. Perhaps I can accompany him.

By the way, today is Sunday and actually I planned with Syaza to go to Arwah Shazni's grave as I didn't go there for a long time. But I was period. Seriously I hate this stupid thingy! But it's okay and nevermind because still got another day kann Ema? Wah, banyaknya Ema membebel harini. Hee see the leg lah. Okay that's all for today. Wish you guys superb great Sunday and have fun!


Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm Just Answered This

1. Last beverage : Mineral water.
2. Last phone call : Amir
3. Last text message : Syaza <3
4. Last song you listened to : I do by Colbie Caillat 
5. Last time you cried : 09 Jun 2011

6. Dated someone twice : Aaaa, haha yes.
7. Been cheated on : Loads of time.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : Yes.
9. Lost someone special : Yup, he's very very special.
10. Been depressed : Most of the time, so yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up : Nope!

12: White
13: Pink
14: Dark Blue

15. Made a new friend: Yeah.
16. Fallen out of love: Yes.
17. Laughed until you cried: A hell lot of time! Lol.
18. Met someone who changed you: Changed me to a better person, yes!
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes, my gal, Syaza
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Tumbuk sajo!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: My girls, haha!
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Half of them.
24. Do you have any pets: I hate to have pets!
25. Do you want to change your name: No.. Haven't thought of changing it.
26. What did you do for your last birthday?: I did nothing.
27. What time did you wake up this morning?: I'm not sleep at all, hihi
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping, my full time job.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: The day after SPM ends.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: She's always with me laaaa.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : Nothing, my life has been treating me good so far.
32. What are you listening to right now: Kisah Hati by Alyah Y.Y
33. Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: No..
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: Nobody.
36. Whats your real name: Emalina bt Abd Aziz
37. Nicknames: Ema
38. Birth month: February baby.
39. Zodiac sign: Picses.
40. Male or female: Female.
41. Primary School: Sek. Keb. Bandar Baru Sentul and Sek. Keb. Bandar Banting
42. Secondary School: Sek. Men. Keb. Bandar Banting
43. High school/college: One day, Insyaallah. UiTM, pretty please.
44. Write whatever you want here: Babi
45. Long or short hair?: short forsure.
46. Height: 146 cm kot.
47. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah, man.
48. What do you like about yourself: Pemalas and eat a lot.
49. Piercings: None.
50. Tattoos: Minaiiiizingkaw!
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

52. First surgery: None.
53. First piercing: Ears piercing.
54. First best friend: Najihah bt Zaini
55. First sport you joined: Netball
56. First vacation: Lupa!
58. First pair of trainers: None.

59. Eating: Sure, chocolate.
60. Drinking: Nothing.
61. I'm about to: Fattttttt! O.o
62. Listening to: Cuba by Aidil
63. Waiting for: Text from him <3

64. Want kids: Yes!
65. Get married: Yes, that's the most important thing. Hoho.
66. Career: A good girlfriend for his boyfriend and a good wife for his husband. Tehee!

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, baby. Hugs!
69. Shorter or taller: Taller, that's for sure.
70. Older or Younger: Older ah!
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous. Omg, you have no idea how much i hate romantic thingy!
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice stomach O.o
73. Sensitive or loud: Both
74. Hook-up or relationship: Hook-up.

76. Kissed a stranger: Wish!
77. Drank hard liquor: Nope.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes, most of the time.
79. Sex on first date: Uish, i have a lot more things to do lah.
80. Broken someone's heart: Yes but I didn't mean to.
82. Been arrested: No.
83. Turned someone down: Yes, my favourite! Hahaha.
84. Cried when someone died: Yes. Arwah Shazni, my boyfriend
85. Fallen for a friend: Aaaa.. IDK.

86. Yourself: A big yes!!
87. Miracles: Sometimes.
88. Love at first sight: Iya, dong.
89. Heaven: Yes.
90. Santa Claus: No!
91. Kiss on the first date: No? O.o
92. Angels: Yes.

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Hell no!
95. Did you sing today: Yes, always lah..
96. Ever cheated on somebody: Yes yes yes yes!! Omg :(
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: 2010 pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(.
98. The moment you would choose to re-live: The moment before this date : 21th of December 2010.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: Yes, very.
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: Nope at all!

So now.. What are you waiting for? Answer 'em all! Go go.

Cheers Morning

Hello. How's your holiday been treating you? Mine's going okay so far. Yeah I know I didn't have any vacation with my family as my parents are off to work. But atleast I felt so lucky to have my girl around and having a great day together. Like you know, I wouldn't bore myself being at home with no fun cause my dad's reminding me too much about my result for PPT. Maigad, I'm afraid like seriously ouch ! Okay wtf I really don't want spent my time at home studying and watching television, That's totally not teenager's life xP hihi

So I planned to go for a movie with my girl, Syaza. We having too much fun on that day eventho berdua je. We almost fight because she said that she wanted to watch 'X-man' and I was lol I really can't stand to watch action movie and I told her it was very very bored movie. But she want it too and yeah I'm surrender. huhu. Okay, I though that was a vely vely vely bored movie but I realized that I am wrong because I tell you haa it was amazing ouch I like. And and and the most important thing is Syaza belanja wa popcorn wa cakap sama lu. Yay! Thanks friend and yeah never forget our 'xoxo' okay minah?
Oh by the way, is there any one of you know why people are acting so .. when talk about KL Gangstar?  I'm just too curious.Why you guys so semangat la? hihi I'm actually jeals cause can't go out today. Chill.

Anyway, I got to go because I've a lot things to do for today as my phone charger was giving me trouble, haha okay I will update and keep on membebel back as soon as I finish my work. Have a good day for today guys.


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Found my happiness !

Hello readers,

It's been so long I didn't updates my blog. Yeah imma quite busy with my life, study and stuff. I'm promise to you all after this i'm gonna head myself to rajin mengupdate blog. InsyaAllah :) Okay everybody busy and enjoy with their holidays right? But not for me x( How could I enjoy my holidays if only RM20 on my purse. Omagad --'. I can die die die. Mami, help me please.

Okay lets talk about my life. Hihi I'm happy now because yeah I already found my happiness, Like seriously ! Okay sekarang Ema dah kuat, dah besar, dah yakin dan berani. Absolutely, I'm proud of myself. Thanks God for keep with me safe in Your way :) Gosh, I'm happy.

Here, Ema nak minta maaf dekat semua orang. I don't know why the reason but please I am sorry for the kuajak words that came out from my mouth. For all my friends, those yang suka atau yang benci, pon.. Ema minta maaf. Sorry for neglecting you guys and I didn't meant to do that shit, seriously ! Yes, I admit it, I'm neglecting people now but it just because of I want start my new life and please don't salah sangka yang Ema lupa kawan. I didn't meant that. I just want new fun environtment yeah aku nak cari sendiri. I hope you guys can understand what I try to do. Ema hidup dekat dunia ni bukan nak cari kesedihan, tapi nak cari kebahagiaan. Anyway, I wish lots of luck to all my haters there.