Thursday, July 21, 2011

Broken Dark Fairy Tale


WTF I REALLY CAN'T STAND IT ALONE BY NOW. BUT I KNOW I'M ALRIGHT I'M OKAY AND I CAN GO BY MY OWN. SERIOUSLY I FEEL SO NUMB WAY MUCH RIGHT NOW. I'M SCARED THAT I'LL GIVE UP ON HIM SOON. BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MY FAULT. I SHOULDN'T BE FEELING THIS WAY, BUT I AM.
BOY, PLEASE KNOW THAT NOW THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE. I MEAN LIKE, EVERYTHING SEEMS SO DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE.

YEAH I'M FED UP NOW LIKE SERIOUSLY. SORRY FOR THIS STATEMENT.
- I DOWWAN MAKE ANY OF SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. JUST THAT, TREAT ME NICELY AND I'LL GIVE YOU A GOOD FEEDBACK -

Love, Ema.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

He Was My ... And I Missed Him


I really enjoyed spending time with you, even if we were just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. I'm so happy the day we hang out Putrajaya and we just sitting in car and talked about nothing bla bla bla and you was make me laughing way so much about this one girl with her boyfriend. Okay stop i seriously can't continue this hahaha so damn ishh! There are a million things i love about you, like your nose or the way you smiled, the way you looked me in the eye too. and I just get the greatest feeling when i made you laugh, i feel as if my company makes you happy, and that’s what i wish for you. for you to be happy. now you leave me alone at Banting gosh, seriously you make me missing you way much, i'm gonna pray all the best for your new life there and of course for your study. i'm not gonna stop praying for you. I seriously lost any of words to say how much i miss spending time with you. Lucky, we still contact even you was in busy way and sometimes we having much argueing just because a simple things. Nevermind, I'm still inlove with you lah pundek haha kbye. wishing all the best for you there Amiruddin.

xoxo,
Emalina.

Lemme Let You Know

To all my close people, close friends, schoolmates and my sister. I know you've been seeing me all alone at school or just with Syaza at school. And some of you guys asking me whether i'm having a huge problem with all my girls or something else. To be honest, No ! I'm not fighting with them. We're just okay as you can see. It obviously explains everything right? I just wanna things get clear. I need a space. A very big space for myself okay. All I can say is I do friends with all people. Just that i don't think I need a close friend i mean bestfriend except Syaza. So no one will get hurt and no one will hate. I hope all the things I'm do now, will make everyone happy with it. Hence, I just need a new life and think about my future undertaking and help my dad.
Oh and yeah, Thank you to all my friends for your concern to me. And like what i've told you I'm just doing okay but I'm just trynna look forward in life and my future. And I'm sorry if this entry might hurt any of you. I'm just trying to make it clear, no offense. Salam.

xoxo,
Emalina

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Hello readers,
Seriously I kinda busy with my stuff and else. Omg! I miss blogging like seriously.
Fisrt of all, I kinda sad, sumpah do. I feel so down now. I really can'tstand it alone anymore.
Dissapointed with my own bestfriend is always happened to me /: Okay nevermind lah. I didn't take any serious thingy of that.

Oh and yeah. Anyway, I seriously being all emo at my classroom after the one and only 'becok' girl come to school. Maigad, please go dai ah minah. Why so cruel Ema? Hik.

She : Rumah aku ada aircond. Best sejuk!
Friend : Rumah aku takboleh pasang aircond sbb rumah aku dah ada 3 peti ais.

Wtf? What the hell is going with them?! I seriously can't stand anymore lah weh like I come to school just to hear their fukimaks merepeks story. Okay chill Ema. Actually aku tak join dorang pon okay. Just that tempat dorang memang belakang aku. So apa yang dorang merepek merapu, automatically aku dengar --'

Oh by the way. Haritu pergi tengok movie dengan Amir. 321 Cinta. Okay sumpah macam geli er er er. Tapi dah mamat ni suka sangat kan? Aku pon melayan je ah ketawa kih kih kih. Haha sorry sayang. Never forgotten my dinner with mom and dad last night. It was fun beb! After duduk en, my stomach keep pushing me to said Nasi Ayam Lemon. Maigad, dah lama tak makan. Er I looked so greedy and jakun plus I cilok my mom punya ayam xP Hihi coli coli coli. Sayang mama ah mama cool mama gentle suka bagi green light. Haha. I'm shooo lucky. Kbye! Muah

Till here,
xoxo,
Emalina.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Nothing is as simple as uncolored thing

Ema tak couple dengan Amir. Tapi, Ema happy bila ada dengan Amir, Amirn faham Ema. Amir teman Ema hari hari. Amir dah banyak kali dengar cerita Ema and biar lah benda dah lepas. Ema dah janji dengan diri Ema sendiri, yang Ema taknak couple dengan siapa siapa. Cukuplah, Shazni sorang. Biarlah Shazni jadi lover Ema sampai mati. Ema hidup dalam dunia ni bukan untuk mengejar kesedihan, tapi untuk mengejar kebahagiaan. Ema buat semua benda ni, semua ada maksud. Ema sekarang dah happy dengan Amir, bukan maksudnya Ema dah tak sayangkan Shazni. Ema sayang Shazni lebih daripada semua benda. Family comes first, then Shazni. Amir is next. Ema sayang Amir, Ema nak ada dengan Amir sampai Ema mati. Amir dah janji dengan Ema yang dia nak jaga Ema. Apa yang Ema berani cakap sekarang ni, Ema memang sayang Amir. Tapi kalau Amir nak hidup dengan Ema, datang jumpa Ema bila dua dua dah besar, bila dua dua dah boleh fikir pasal diri sendiri, bila dua dua dah boleh cari duit sendiri, bukan guna duit mak bapak. Sekarang ni, Ema taknak fikir pasal apa apa other than fikir pasal family Ema sendiri and study Ema. Itu yang paling penting dalam hidup Ema sekarang. Ema tahu, ada orang yang tak suka Ema dengan Amir. Semua sibuk cakap sana sini 'Ema dah tak sayang Shazni ke'. Banyak dah benda yang Ema dengar. Banyak dah benda yang Ema dapat daripada orang orang yang tak kenal siapa diri Ema yang sebenarnya. Ema hidup bukan untuk mementingkan kebahagiaan orang lain. Kalau sampai mati Ema jaga hati orang lain, sampai bila Ema nak hidup sedih? Siapa pula yang nak jaga hati Ema? Siapa pula yang nak hidup dengan Ema? Terlalu awal untuk Ema cakap pasal jodoh. Sekolah pun tak habis lagi, tak pernah jejak hidup lepas sekolah. Duit makan pun mak bapak yang tanggung. Ema tak berani nak cakap yang Amir tu jodoh Ema. Tapi, doa Ema takkan lengkap kalau takda nama mama ayah, Shazni and Amir. Ema dah mula doa untuk hidup Ema dengan Amirn. Apa yang Ema rasa sekarang, Ema happy dengan hidup Ema sekarang ni. Ni semua sebab Amir and family. Amir jaga Ema. Dia faham Ema. Ema dah penat hidup untuk menjaga hati orang lain. Ema dah sedar semua benda ni, Ema dah tak boleh jadi bodoh. Ema dah tak boleh hidup just untuk membahagiakan orang lain. Apa yang Ema harapkan sekarang ni, terima lah Ema dengan Amir. Bukan niat busuk or apa apa lah. Ema bukan nak rampas Amir dari ex dia. Ema dah try dulu pujuk dia, tapi Amir cakap dia nak mulakan hidup baru. Ema takboleh paksa. Cuma kadang2, dia hidup dibayangi dengan kenangan lama. It's okay, Ema faham. Bagilah Ema peluang untuk hidup dengan Amir. Bagilah Ema peluang untuk jadi happy. Walaupun untuk sementara, Ema redha. Ema redha dengan apa yang Allah bagi. Ema happy dapat hidup dengan Amir yang boleh jaga Ema, ingatkan Ema untuk semua benda, bawak Ema jalan jalan. Ema bersyukur dapat tahu yang Amir sayang Ema. Tolong lah jangan mengaibkan pasal Ema dengan Amir ni dengan benda lain. Tolong faham perasaan Ema, Ema dah tak sanggup nak baca apa yang orang orang bagi dekat Ema.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Kau ciptakanlah Shazni bin Samsol untukku, Ya Allah.

xoxo,
Emalina.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

OMG !

                                     * Sorry, The picture was not too clear.

Him : Adik, dah balik sch belum?
Me : Dah abang. Kenapa?
Him : Tunggu kat rumah tau? Jap lagi abang nak datang.
Me : Ada apa?
Him : Adalah xP
Me : Mengada kan? Okay.
......
Him : Adik, abang dah nak sampai.
Me : Okay okay. Adik keluar ni.
Him : Adikkkkkkkkk :) Nah rojak utk adik.
Me : Eeee apa susah susah ni abang? Haha Thanks abang. Adik syg abang sgt.

OMG ! I really really miss him. I don't know where is he now. But, I'm missing him like seriously.
I hope hes in a good condition and happy with his life now. I seriously wanna meet him but I don't know whether he still remember me or not. Perhaps I'm still be a part of his life. Perhaps.
I've tried miscall him yesterday morning but Im too sad cause I didn't get any respond from him. Abang, where have you been haa? I miss you effin' much :(
Adik nak rojak buah tu lagi :(

xoxo,  
Emalina 

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Girl, Be Strong


Hello friends.
So today, I didn't go to school. I know today is the first day school. But somehow, I didn't get enough strength to wake up for school this morning. I'm having a real huge problem plus I'm not well. I can't take this any longer, I feel like dying! It's been a few months since the last time I had this kind of terrible problem. I'm sick of this headache thingy!

I planned to go to Banting with Syaza because I want cut my hair as my hair now getting long and such a ugly hair. But unfortunately, I've canceled it because I need to accompany my mom so yeah I'll inform to Syaza after she got back from her school. So sad we couldn't make it. I hope we can meet on the other date k sayang? Hehe really really wanna see you.

I don't know why I feel so weak these days. I've tried my best to be strong. But I just don't know why, lately every time I listen to arwah's favorite songs, every time I take a look at our pictures, my tears will automatically fall down. I don't know how to express this feeling I'm having deep inside my heart. I really really miss him too much. I hope I can take this. But I seriously, can't!

Ya Allah! Please forgive me. Please, give me strength to go through my long journey in life perfectly. Ya Allah, my one and only God, please bless Almarhum Mohd Shazni bin Samsol. Please place him with those You love, Ya Allah! :'( 


xoxo,
Emalina  

New Beginning

I woke up early today. I woke up with my head feels so heavy. I tried to sleep again but my eyes refused it. So I get up and take my laptop. Nak mandi pon masih awal. Sojuk lah. Actually before tidur tadi Ema nangis-nangis. I have such a huge problem but I can't tell you guys how's my problem looks like. Let me handle it by myself and I know I can. Okay today is Monday like you know, I don't want go to school because seriously I'm not in mood and I'm sho malas plus I need to accompany my mom tomorrow morning. I don't know what place but as a great good daughter, I just follow her. 

Okay, Ema cuma nak cakap. Ema taknak musuh dengan siapa siapa lagi. So, Fanny, I'm sorry for all the words and I'm forgive you. I hope you can accept my sincere appologise. Hence, I've deleted all the stupid thingy and I don't want to hear about that anymore. Sorry for being all emo to you. I hope this is the last time we argued because of arwah Shazni. Well, Apek's words was so true! 'selagi aku ada sifat dendam, gentle arwah tak tenang and maybe arwah kecewa dgn sikap aku' . That's was so true and I really want to thank to you because remind me about that. Like you know, I'm just too dissapointed and people know how much I love arwah Shazni. I know arwah Shazni love both of us and we should accept the fate and pray the best for him. Perhaps hes in better place now. Okay end story lah malas cerita panjang panjang.

xoxo,
Emalina



I'm Missing Him

To be honest, I'm seriously going to get jealous seeing those people all around got couples. You're not here anymore, I'm not as comfortable as I seemed to be.

I miss spending time with you. I wish I could turn back time and spend the rest of my life with you! I seriously can't live without you. I hope I can be strong and even stronger to move on. But I know I can't. I'm tired being a weak girl, I'm tired of giving a fake smile. But I think that's the best thing I'm supposed to do.

I don't know how to say this, you're my everything, you're the only person I love the most. When you're no longer here, everything's changed. Everything is not as it used to be. I miss you so much, my beloved boyfriend. I hope you're in a better place and never forget me.

Now, what keeps me going is our voice record in my cell. I won't delete it and I'm probably going to keep them in my memories, memories I can never ever forget. You were the one who always strive to solve my problems and always guide me. You were the one who always there by my side in times of need.


But now when I need you, why you can't be here again :'(
Al- Fatihah for you Shazni bin Samsol.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hip Hip Hooray !

Hello. Aaa Sunday, slow down please. Why so fast haa. I don't want go to sch tomorromw lah like seriously oh. I'll rather being bored at home than need to see all my friends's face. I don't know why I'm acting so evil by saying that but seriously haa I tell you I hate my classmates except Mariam and Fitri. Okay I don't want talk about this lah. This thing seriously make me feel so malas so menyampah.

Anyway, I just wanna share something. Yesterday night was fun I'm hanging out melepak with both my sisters, Kak Eca and Yong. Omg! I really miss Kak Eca so effin' much. Long time we didn't lepak together and share about fashion style right? Yeah I understand that you need to work hard to buy a car. Hihi So then later we can rock our body yeah coooool mannnn. Yesterday we ate roti canai as Yong was hanker to eat that. So I suggest to them to go to Tasbeeh Bistro as the roti canai was too delicious. I bet you guys will say the same thing xP Okay actually we planned to go to Kl that night with Yong's boyfriend but I'm too tired plus I bet my dad will say No. Huu, sorry girls. I cant join you guys last night. Then they send me home around 11.00 p.m. and I wish my dad was sleep already and perhaps, so that I didn't need to answer all his questions. Hihik. Unfortunately guys, I saw my dad was waiting for me at the door and I felt so afraid and I just lost any of words to say so I gave him a big smile. Tehee xP I changed my clothes and layed my body on my sweet bed as I need to reply someone's text. We text as usual and both of us was too bored for tomorrow, I mean today. He asked me to accompany him to watch a Kl Gangstar's movie. I was like lol and not so sure whether I can go or I just give him a big saddest. Haha. Omg! I really want to watch that movie but I'm not sure yet lah. Perhaps I can accompany him.

By the way, today is Sunday and actually I planned with Syaza to go to Arwah Shazni's grave as I didn't go there for a long time. But I was period. Seriously I hate this stupid thingy! But it's okay and nevermind because still got another day kann Ema? Wah, banyaknya Ema membebel harini. Hee see the leg lah. Okay that's all for today. Wish you guys superb great Sunday and have fun!

xoxo,
Emalina.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm Just Answered This

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage : Mineral water.
2. Last phone call : Amir
3. Last text message : Syaza <3
4. Last song you listened to : I do by Colbie Caillat 
5. Last time you cried : 09 Jun 2011


HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice : Aaaa, haha yes.
7. Been cheated on : Loads of time.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : Yes.
9. Lost someone special : Yup, he's very very special.
10. Been depressed : Most of the time, so yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up : Nope!


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 
12: White
13: Pink
14: Dark Blue


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: Yeah.
16. Fallen out of love: Yes.
17. Laughed until you cried: A hell lot of time! Lol.
18. Met someone who changed you: Changed me to a better person, yes!
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes, my gal, Syaza
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Tumbuk sajo!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: My girls, haha!
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Half of them.
24. Do you have any pets: I hate to have pets!
25. Do you want to change your name: No.. Haven't thought of changing it.
26. What did you do for your last birthday?: I did nothing.
27. What time did you wake up this morning?: I'm not sleep at all, hihi
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping, my full time job.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: The day after SPM ends.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: She's always with me laaaa.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : Nothing, my life has been treating me good so far.
32. What are you listening to right now: Kisah Hati by Alyah Y.Y
33. Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: No..
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: Nobody.
36. Whats your real name: Emalina bt Abd Aziz
37. Nicknames: Ema
38. Birth month: February baby.
39. Zodiac sign: Picses.
40. Male or female: Female.
41. Primary School: Sek. Keb. Bandar Baru Sentul and Sek. Keb. Bandar Banting
42. Secondary School: Sek. Men. Keb. Bandar Banting
43. High school/college: One day, Insyaallah. UiTM, pretty please.
44. Write whatever you want here: Babi
45. Long or short hair?: short forsure.
46. Height: 146 cm kot.
47. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah, man.
48. What do you like about yourself: Pemalas and eat a lot.
49. Piercings: None.
50. Tattoos: Minaiiiizingkaw!
51. Righty or lefty: Righty


FIRSTS:
52. First surgery: None.
53. First piercing: Ears piercing.
54. First best friend: Najihah bt Zaini
55. First sport you joined: Netball
56. First vacation: Lupa!
58. First pair of trainers: None.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: Sure, chocolate.
60. Drinking: Nothing.
61. I'm about to: Fattttttt! O.o
62. Listening to: Cuba by Aidil
63. Waiting for: Text from him <3

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids: Yes!
65. Get married: Yes, that's the most important thing. Hoho.
66. Career: A good girlfriend for his boyfriend and a good wife for his husband. Tehee!

WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, baby. Hugs!
69. Shorter or taller: Taller, that's for sure.
70. Older or Younger: Older ah!
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous. Omg, you have no idea how much i hate romantic thingy!
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice stomach O.o
73. Sensitive or loud: Both
74. Hook-up or relationship: Hook-up.


HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger: Wish!
77. Drank hard liquor: Nope.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes, most of the time.
79. Sex on first date: Uish, i have a lot more things to do lah.
80. Broken someone's heart: Yes but I didn't mean to.
82. Been arrested: No.
83. Turned someone down: Yes, my favourite! Hahaha.
84. Cried when someone died: Yes. Arwah Shazni, my boyfriend
85. Fallen for a friend: Aaaa.. IDK.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: A big yes!!
87. Miracles: Sometimes.
88. Love at first sight: Iya, dong.
89. Heaven: Yes.
90. Santa Claus: No!
91. Kiss on the first date: No? O.o
92. Angels: Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Hell no!
95. Did you sing today: Yes, always lah..
96. Ever cheated on somebody: Yes yes yes yes!! Omg :(
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: 2010 pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(.
98. The moment you would choose to re-live: The moment before this date : 21th of December 2010.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: Yes, very.
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: Nope at all!

So now.. What are you waiting for? Answer 'em all! Go go.

Cheers Morning

Hello. How's your holiday been treating you? Mine's going okay so far. Yeah I know I didn't have any vacation with my family as my parents are off to work. But atleast I felt so lucky to have my girl around and having a great day together. Like you know, I wouldn't bore myself being at home with no fun cause my dad's reminding me too much about my result for PPT. Maigad, I'm afraid like seriously ouch ! Okay wtf I really don't want spent my time at home studying and watching television, That's totally not teenager's life xP hihi

So I planned to go for a movie with my girl, Syaza. We having too much fun on that day eventho berdua je. We almost fight because she said that she wanted to watch 'X-man' and I was lol I really can't stand to watch action movie and I told her it was very very bored movie. But she want it too and yeah I'm surrender. huhu. Okay, I though that was a vely vely vely bored movie but I realized that I am wrong because I tell you haa it was amazing ouch I like. And and and the most important thing is Syaza belanja wa popcorn wa cakap sama lu. Yay! Thanks friend and yeah never forget our 'xoxo' okay minah?
Oh by the way, is there any one of you know why people are acting so .. when talk about KL Gangstar?  I'm just too curious.Why you guys so semangat la? hihi I'm actually jeals cause can't go out today. Chill.

Anyway, I got to go because I've a lot things to do for today as my phone charger was giving me trouble, haha okay I will update and keep on membebel back as soon as I finish my work. Have a good day for today guys.

xoxo,
Emalina

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Found my happiness !

Hello readers,

It's been so long I didn't updates my blog. Yeah imma quite busy with my life, study and stuff. I'm promise to you all after this i'm gonna head myself to rajin mengupdate blog. InsyaAllah :) Okay everybody busy and enjoy with their holidays right? But not for me x( How could I enjoy my holidays if only RM20 on my purse. Omagad --'. I can die die die. Mami, help me please.

Okay lets talk about my life. Hihi I'm happy now because yeah I already found my happiness, Like seriously ! Okay sekarang Ema dah kuat, dah besar, dah yakin dan berani. Absolutely, I'm proud of myself. Thanks God for keep with me safe in Your way :) Gosh, I'm happy.

Here, Ema nak minta maaf dekat semua orang. I don't know why the reason but please I am sorry for the kuajak words that came out from my mouth. For all my friends, those yang suka atau yang benci, pon.. Ema minta maaf. Sorry for neglecting you guys and I didn't meant to do that shit, seriously ! Yes, I admit it, I'm neglecting people now but it just because of I want start my new life and please don't salah sangka yang Ema lupa kawan. I didn't meant that. I just want new fun environtment yeah aku nak cari sendiri. I hope you guys can understand what I try to do. Ema hidup dekat dunia ni bukan nak cari kesedihan, tapi nak cari kebahagiaan. Anyway, I wish lots of luck to all my haters there.

xoxo,
Emalina.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

IM BACK !

Hello, okay dah apak lama berzaman en aku tak updates blog.
Yeah, everybody busy with their study right ? Same goes to me :)
Plus aku malas nak share everything dah pasal life aku dekat org. Aku tahu jaga diri :)
Tapi apa yg aku nak korang tahu aku rindu Kenny sangat ah wey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Em :/ aku betul buntu dah ah.
Kadang aku penat, kadang aku bingung, kadang aku terseksa sgt and kadang life is unfair !
Yeah unfair sangat weh !
Aku sayang dia lahhhh kenapa kenapa kenapa kenapa?!!

Kadang aku terfikir, Bila nak kiamat :/ Aku nak jpe dia kat dunia sana.
Aku naak ! Takde siapa faham aku kat sini. Aku nak jpe kau lahh :/
Kenny, aku perlukan kau ! Selama ni aku hidup kerana kau ! Selama ni aku kuat kerana kau kau faham tak ?!
Aku buntuuuu :( Kenny, kau tak lupa aku kan biy? Kau still sayang aku kan?
Em aku penat fikir :( 
Kenny, kau bahagia tak dekat sana ? Kau okay tak? Sihat tak? 
Kau dengar tak apa aku cakap ni? Kenny, sini lah dengan aku :(
Dah lama sangat kau tinggalkan aku. UNFAIRRRRRRRRRRR !
Kenny, kita masih boleh jpe lagi ke tak?? Boleh tak?
Aku perlukan jawapan kau !
Kenny, aku nak hidup dengan kau ! Kau jgn dengan org lain pulak.
Kenny, dengar lah aku. Aku taknak org lain aku nak kau ! yh kau jugak !
Takpe biarlah aku setia pon, aku tggu kau . 
Kau tggu aku dekat atas sana. Aku tahu cinta kita tak boleh bersama kan kat dunia ni?
So yh aku nk kita bersama kat dunia atas sana. Perhaps.
Aku dah lama tak menangis sbb rindu kau. Tapi pagi tadi after habis paper BI,
Ake tiba tiba menangis. Mungkin aku rindu kau. Mungkin kau dtg tengok aku. Mungkin.
Bila kawan kawan tanya kenapa mata merah, aku terpaksa sembunyikan aku cakap
aku takut aku jawab salah pasal paper BI. Kalau aku bagitahu pon, dorang tak mungkin faham.
Paling paling pon dorang just cakap SABAR ! Dorang bukannya boleh bawak aku jpe kau pon :/
So better aku diam.
Kenny, aku boleh jpe kau tak? Bila aku boleh jpe kau?
Aku mesti jpe kau!!!!!!!!!!1 Aku dh penat nk jpe kau dalam mimpi je :/
Faham lahh aku. Aku penat dh hold semua benda ni sayang .
Aku tahu kau faham aku kan? 
Kenny, aku nak dengar lagi perkataan I LOVE YOU SAYANG keluar mulut kau lagi .
Bila boleh dengar lagi? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! aku penat tggu ! Em :/

Friday, April 1, 2011

I am sick of you !

Okay kan dah mintak maaf sebab tak dpt teman kau pergi Jj !
Kau ni kenapa? Kenapa?
I'm sick sick sick of you :/
Aku penat, malam td aku tak boleh tidur, aku berjaga sampai pagi.
Kau pon tahu kan? Aku msg dengan kau kan mlm tu smpai pagi?
Faham lah aku sikit. Kita jnji pukul 10, tp nak buat mcm mana dah pukul 10 tu aku dah terlelap
mengantuk sgt. Aku betul-2 tak larat tahu tak?
Kau suka paksa-2 aku :/ Aku rimas dengan sikap kau.
+menyampah !
Aku dah mintak maaf kan? Kau jgn lahh nk cakap aku mungkir jnji dengan kau.
Aku tak jnji apa-2 pon dengan kau !
Malam tu aku dah siap bgtahu kau lagi aku sekarang tengah pokai pokai pokai pokai !
Kau faham tak maksud pokai tu ?

Aku ajak kau balik Banting mintak teman pergi kubur arwah.
Aku rindu dia, aku nak melawat dia. Aku takde kawan nk ajak.
Kau sibuk dengan JJ kau kan? Aku kecik hati pasal tu, tp aku diam.
Yeahh aku ni bukan suka menunjuk nunjuk sgt. Tapi kau punya sakit hati?
Heboh kan? kalau boleh satu Banting kau nak org tahu.
Im sick sick sick of you :/
Yeahh mmg aku rude, tapi aku bersebab. Aku bukan bodoh dan aku masih waras.
Kau jgn tertanya-tanya blog aku ni untuk siapa. Ini mmg untuk kau.
Maaf , tapi aku perlu jujur.
Aku dah taktahan dengan perangai kau.
Aku menyesal :/
Tapi aku taktahu apa yg aku menyesal.

Dah lah aku minta maaf weh gila .
Kau nak maafkan aku ke tak tu kau punya pasal.
Kau jaga lah diri kau.
Assalamualaikum.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

FACT :)

There're are maybe two reasons why people changed :

--> They have learned a lot.
--> They've been hurt so much.

Don't you agree with it ? It's up to you people :)
That is my opinion.
People keep asking me why i'm changed a lots ?
But to me, every people will changed in plenty of way some other day.
If they change to be a bad person, keep care about them. 
Cause i am sure that he/she need someone to be with them :)
Don't keep blaming each other !

That's all for today :)
I will post again tomorrow, InsyaAllah.
Assalamualaikum.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

OH 2010 :{ / GRRRR 2011

Aku benci 2011 :{ Aku benci !
Aku nak 2010 balik, yeah even 2010 aku hilang org yang paling aku sayang,
tapi aku lbih rela tanggung derita hilang org yg aku sayang drpd 
tanggung segala derita masalah hidup aku yg aku tktahu 
smpai mana penghujungnyaa :{
Atleast aku hilang org yg aku sayang, dia pergi menghadap Allah.
Aku takperlu risau sebab aku yakin Allah akn jaga dia.
Semua manusia yg hidup pasti akan mati suatu hari kelak.
Cuma masa je yg menentukan semua tu.
Tapi tolong, aku benci 2011 !

2011, Aku start gado dengan Wani Jha Kzra.
Gado kiteorang bukan sehari dua. Aku rasa org lain pon thu berapa lama kiteorg gado.
Yeah now kami dah berbaik except Kzra. 
Aku tahu, nak maafkan orang bukan senang. Aku tak boleh paksa dia.
Maybe she need a long time to forgive me.
Okay Kzra, Ema tak kesah :')
Yg penting, Ema ikhlas mintak maaf.
So yeah, sedikit sebanyak aku happy dpt berbaik dgn Wani & Jha.
Tp, entah kenapa, btl apa aku agak selama ni, klu dh gado smpai tahap mcm ni,
agak kekok+mustahil utk kita jadi mcm dulu.
Aku pon tak boleh nak buat apa, nk tk nk aku kena terima.
Tapi aku bersyukur dorg dapat maafkan aku.

Okay 2011, lg gado :/
Aku gado dengan kawan-2 sch baru aku dekat sch Td.
Bagi aku, aku teraniaya, tapi maybebagi dorang aku salah.
Tapi takpe, aku tak suka bermusuhan dgn ramai org, aku ikhlas aku mintak maaf.
Ni pon aku takboleh paksa-2 sebab bukan mudah nak buat org yakin dgn apa yg kita kata.
Selebihnya, dorang nak maafkan atau terus bermusuhan, aku tk larang.
Tapi aku harap dorang pon dpt maafkan aku mcm mana Wani dpt maafkan aku :')
Amin.

2011, lagi aku hilang abg aku, Dad.
Aku tktahu kenapa jd mcm ni. Semakin hari, aku semakin hlg mereka-2 yg aku syg.
Ada cerita disebalik Dad ni, kalau nk cite kat sini, kang malu pulak Dad nnti.
And just salah faham dgn Fara, girlfriend yg paling dia syg.
Tapi aku bersyukur, 2 hari lepas kiteorg cntct balik :}
Tapi aku tk pasti samada hbgan aku dgn dia akn jadi mcm hangat-2 tahi ayam atau sebaliknya.
Aku harap itu lah last utk kiteorg bergaduh.
Aku tk larat lagi dah nak gado dgn ramai org.
Abg, adik syg abg, adik perlukan abg utk protect adik,
Thanks for being there :')

Dan pada tahun 2011 juga lah membuatkan hbungan aku dgn kawan-2 lain
and budak-2 lain hancus </3
Tambah-2 lagi kalau dorang dh dgr mslh-2 aku mcm aku cite td.
Tp itu semua terpulang pada diri masing-2, yang penting, Hati !

Lagi lagi lagi 2011, aku akn kehilangan my superb father :(
Hero aku after arwah Kenny pergi.
Dulu Dad, tp nk buat mcm mana, dia hilang kejap dlm hidup aku.
So yeah, benda yg paling menyedihkan aku pd tahun 2011, 
aku terpaksa akur dgn keputusan family aku.
Dari 2 tahun lepas, hubungan mama dgn ayah tk berapa nk okay.
Tp aku tgk bukan selalu, cuma kadang-2 je.
Tp ayah, promise you, don't be sad cause i'm your daughter, always be with you.
Only God know how hard we tried to selamatkan keadaan :')
Ayahh , I LOVE YOU !
Kalau boleh aku tknak ape-2 terjadi dkt family aku.
Yeah i know this place is quite public for me to story here.
Tp aku dh takde siapa lagi, only blog blog blog !

Ya Allah, ckup lah kau tarik Shazni dari hidup aku, kali ni aku mohon padaMu, 
kau jjgn lah tarik org-2 yg aku syg ni dari hidup aku.
Sesungguhnya, aku tak boleh berdiri tanpa mereka, lbih-2 lagi ayah ku.
Semoga kau perkenankan doa hambaMu ini yang jahat lagi hina, Amin.

Aku tahu aku mesti berdiri kuat sekuatnya utk hadap ni semua.
Tp, aku makin fed up semakin hari, bertimbul-timbul, bertubi-tubi & berlumba-lumba
masalah dtg kejar aku :/
Btl, akku ckp aku hmpir give up !
Tp aku mesti beringat, ada lagi org yg lagi berat masalahnya dari aku.
Ni semua takdir, berdosa klu aku tolak & merungut.
Ayah pernah bagitahu, Allah tk kan trunkan dugaan yg berat pada hambanya 
yg tak boleh tggung.
So aku percaya, aku yakin aku boleh jugak.
Tp, i just need someone to be with me.
I just need friends to give me a strong support.
Heee, tp kawan-2 Ema semua lari tknak kawan :}
Semoga Allah beri aku kekuatang & semangat pada aku, ya aku Emalina Abd Aziz.

Aku syg kau blog. Jgn lahh kau pon pergi jugak ya?
Okayy lah, aku mengantuk ni.
Nak pergi krohh krohh  xD
Wish me luck guys.
Assalamualaikum :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Rindu Setengah Mati :')

Aku
Ingin engkau ada di sini
Menemaniku saat sepi
Menemaniku saat gundah
Berat hidup ini tanpa dirimu
Ku hanya mencintai kamu
Ku hanya memiliki kamu

Aku rindu setengah mati kepada mu
Sungguh ku ingin kau tahu
Aku rindu setengah mati
Meski telah lama kita tak bertemu
Ku selalu memimpikan kamu
Ku tak bisa hidup tanpa mu

Aku rindu setengah mati kepadamu
Sungguh ku ingin kau tahu
Aku rindu ...
Setengah mati ...
Aku rindu


*the lyrics make me more sad and missing him.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Missing You Now :'(

I always gave text on your phone 
People tell me, you can't read it because you're gone
I just tell them you might be gone in their eyes but not in mine
Because you're still in my heart and you always will be
I cry when i think of you
But people keep asked me whyy?
I just tell them how i felt about you and that i still love you
and that i miss you so much
But people just tell me there is no point in still loving you
Because you're gone and you will never be coming back :(
And i agree with them
You're gone but you will never be forgotten
and oneday we will meet again

I promise ..
I pray to God everynight
Askking Him to keep you safe
And sometimes i talked to Him about meeting you again
I wanted to kill myself just so i could see your face again
in heaven 
But then i knew that you would'nt want me to do that :(
I try to be happy but i can't when i know that i won't hear your voice for a long time
I always though that i can live without you
But absolutely i wrong :(
I never though you would have left me :'(

My mom said,
You never left me, God just needed an angel
I even ask God whyy
Why did he have to take you :(
And make me hurt so much
I don't think anyone really knows how much it hurts to be missing you :(

I hate you not being around :'( :'(
I wish i could even see you one last time
So, i could say Goodbye :(
No one understands me anymore
 No one will understands that i will always love you :(

 Babyy, promise me you will meet me again oneday.

Just Read If You Want Okayy :)

I need to be alone for a few days :/
I don't want meet anyone except my father, mother and my laki Esyaa.
Absolutely, i don't know the reason why :(
But, what i know is i need to be alone.

Sometimes, i'm crying --> :'(
Yes, i love crying because to me, crying is the best way
for me to get free all my problems 
even sekejap.
So yeahh maybe this is the reason why my eyes looks like
Panda's eyes right? 
Hell lahh, seburuk mana pon mata aku,
aku sayang dia.
Sebab dia the one and only mata yang aku ada 
and dia lahh yang tahu ape segala masalah aku,
Dan dgn itu lahh, dia tahu untuk keluarkan air mata sebagai peneman aku :')
*korang mesti takfaham kann ?

Sometimes i bored with my life :(
So yeahh i want do something best for my life
But, when i start to created something, there's always something ... --"
And because of this, i fed up but i can't easily give up :)

Hee nowadays, i close with my father :')
He's my body guard, He's my spirit and also my boyfriend. Haha
Now, i always share every single thing happen in my life 
even something about girl.
No need feel ashamed because to me, he can solve it :)
He's my heroo after arwah Kenny Kent.
I love you Father <3

I miss my mother :(
She's my spirit too. Seriouslyy i can't live without her.
I love both of you :')

Yeahh, nowadays, i being a rude girl.
Sorry to anyone yang kurang senang :(
But this is not because i friend with 'siti' lahh :')
Shes never ever ever teach me How to be a rude girl. 
So yeah peeps, don't blame on her please ?
She's my husband ever, so i won't because of this,
Me with her = Broken :/
I don't have anyone else okayyyy.

Lastly, i miss my late boyfriend --> Kenny Kent.
But, rindu rindu aku, i can't do anything.
Just accept and smile plus pray for him there :')
I believe, He's always look after me.
I believe, He's always want the best for me.
I  believe, He miss me so much cause masa dia hidup pon, dia selalu 
ajak meet, lepak and always told me that he wanted spent all his time for me :')
And yeahh 
I believe, my 'jodoh' is with him even dekat dunia sana :')
But if not, my dear God, please send me boyfriend like Kenny.
That's all.
I'm not desperated nak boyfriend sangat okayy.

*sorry if my English broken, i'm on practise
because Practise Make Perfect.
Goodbyee.